Saturday, February 18, 2012

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Ahh yes.  Not many people have asked me who will be giving me away to my soon to be Husband.  Probably because no one really wants to talk about my father… totally understandable!

LONG story short:  

Mom and Dad were married for 24 years.  My father decided to leave the week of my 15th birthday.  Come to find out, he loved someone else and you can imagine how the story goes.  Him and I’s relationship was pretty rocky through my high school years probably because I was thrown in the middle of the constant fighting.  I became quite the rebellious teenager (to stuff away my heartbreak & emotions) and my mother just couldn’t handle me by herself any longer.  She sent me to live with him my senior year… He didn’t know how to treat me, I couldn’t stand him of course  because I was a 17 year old “know it all!”  I graduated from high school and moved back home with my mother for a little while and started working. 

My grandfather died shortly after I turned 18.  Once that happened, my father told one of his sister's that he would never speak to his children again because we just wanted him for his money and whatever other crazy shit he was thinking. Started fights with his brother, took too much money from what his father left him and the rest of his family to split… and took off running to Sunny Florida with his prize and trophy wife!  (BAHAHA! I'm funny)

There’s a lot more to that story but I chose to give the short whacked-out side of it.

I honestly don’t know if I’ve fully FORGIVEN him (which means probably NOT!)  I have stuffed him away into my forgotten file which has helped me to not feel or think about him.  Every now and then it sneaks up on me but for the most part, I’m numb to those hateful, sad years.  

I suppose people would think I have *Daddy Issues.*  I wouldn’t necessarily take it that far (anymore, anyway.)  There was an 8 year phase I went through where I swore up and down that I wouldn’t have  kids and never EVER marry.  I’ve made terrible mistakes that have stalled on plans or completely got taken away.  

My fault, lessons learned!  I don’t blame my father for screwing up my life (that's all my doing,) though he is a big excuse.  Let me just say that the divorce was the start to my long list of regrets.

I am living proof that time heals.  I am living proof that someone can turn their life around for the better.  
I have a beautiful child and am about to marry my BFF.  They both have saved my life.  I don’t want to even imagine where I’d be right now without them.  

Since I do not have the traditional *Dad walking daughter down the aisle* scenario, I wanted someone that is a Father figure in my life.  A list of folks I had in mind:

-Uncle Jun

-Uncle Paul

-Efrain (Steve’s father)

-Petey (my boss)

-Domingo (co-worker, friend)

That there is an awesome list!  But…

I just cannot pick between my two uncles.  *Crosses both off list*
I love my soon to be father in law so much!  But I need a man that will give me away to his family.  *Slowly crosses off list*

Pete and Domingo have tied up the list.  It was a hard choice.  Both I have known through the roughest times of my life and have been there supporting and helping me in any way possible.  But, Domingo and I have spent more time together and have a closer connection.  D has a  sweet wife and two girls that he’s put through college and they’re now both married off and starting their own families.  He is my dear friend and what I call “my old man.”

I have asked him recently and he sounds very happy to step up and be there for me on my big day.  I am so blessed to have met some of the most amazing people.  I am so very thankful! 

Here is a poem I found and fell in love with.  Unfortunately the author is unknown:

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown


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